i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize