wanna go halves on a baby?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
