this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize