Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize