YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
