i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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