she was so not down for the gang bang
its not stalking. its research.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
