I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
