I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
