Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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