batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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