I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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