And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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