Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
