so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
