Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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