What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude i'm inner monologue high
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
