i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I got inside last night via doggy door
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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