If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
