summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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