were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
