i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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