i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
