I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
