I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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