i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
