You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Two words: blizzard sex
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
