Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
