You just made me feel so damn special
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
