I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
