a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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