who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
