PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize