Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
