I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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