I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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