You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
