i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I am spending my child support on dildos
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
