The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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