Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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