she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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