So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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