My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
