Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Found the puke drawer
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize