oh god the rape fog is back!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
