so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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