I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
