Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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