were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
