It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
