D3 body, D1 cock
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
