yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
