I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
