Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
