she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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