20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I wear drunk well.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
