Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
